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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 4:53 pm 
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:18 pm 
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:50 pm 
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There once was a farm boy named jake
who yearned so much for a date
when he ran out of luck
he made due with a duck
The village priest pronounced them husband and mate


There was ayoung man named Sam.
Who was quite proud of his ham.
One day while getting head.
His girlfriend looked up and said,
"This damn thing tastes like Spam".


A flatulent lady named Marta
was widely renowned as a Farter
On the strength of one bean
she'd fart "God Save The Queen"
And Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"


There once was a man named booker
who only like to fuck hookers
one day at the loft
his dick fell off
and now he's only a looker.


There once was a man from Briton
Who said to his girl, you're a tight 'n
She cried 'pon my soul
You're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right one




Sticky was my balls,
sticky was the walls
cause during sex
I didn't wear latex
and oops, now her father calls!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:53 pm 
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for those who leave their shopping for the very last minute and short on cash maybe this tip can help keep your special someone very happy this holiday season :idea: :wink:

http://tinyurl.com/yldqx7

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:46 pm 
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=nhM8SYzavyE

http://youtube.com/watch?v=t1kJW2_RYe0

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8LAA9SK2sM4

http://youtube.com/watch?v=utTUSh53kI0

http://youtube.com/watch?v=J3oAjBwteHo

http://youtube.com/watch?v=m3HHg_Wc85I

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:00 am 
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http://tinyurl.com/2l9xul

http://tinyurl.com/3yxcdm

http://tinyurl.com/28ta2w

A Chick With Long Legs
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 5:28 pm 
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Marriage Lessons
On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness --and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10 Husbands, Still A Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Church Bells
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:20 am 
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http://tinyurl.com/2nv5lp

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http://tinyurl.com/27svat

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:47 pm 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd_cPfz5tfc[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:54 pm 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt9ECAdSZwU[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:03 pm 
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:35 am 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwFyuOgJtWM[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:43 am 
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:49 am 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0aGTYrXMA0[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:49 am 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLIh025bwmQ[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 4:40 pm 
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 4:41 am 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4gK3RRtCHw[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 4:48 am 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6vN4H6L458[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 5:07 am 
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40Fajx69ZPI[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:06 am 
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sex and politics
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z-zKNGJEPo[/youtube]

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