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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:36 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
why did he think after the first five? :idea: :lol:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1832470

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 5:17 am 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyfg17DB-Es[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUFKW-K4Glg[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D76CwuLtCs[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:24 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJCtOz32dnw[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUkzIx382mM[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEB5p28EtqI[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 10:50 am 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU1oeXyfDp4[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoTob4mng5c[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFNqpaOEw2Y[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:50 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXsvVQe34k8[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRBZhyEqgXA[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqVBe_SMQe8[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:03 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
http://www.hulu.com/watch/81013/bathroo ... g-and-porn

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:09 am 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLMNZ6xY6YY[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63glq2r0aOA[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 3:17 pm 
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1000cc Scooter Legend
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Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:40 am
Posts: 1840
Location: UES
Scooter Model(s): 2009 Midnight Blue GTS, 2008 BMW R1200R
I though this was funny:

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa : half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe : well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain : very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece : gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain : with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel : has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada : self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet : wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages, an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 90, a man is like Iran , ruled by nuts.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 7:36 am 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
check out her face when ernie drops a f bomb
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss8LDBNcsWc[/youtube][youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChxaIa1eS9Q[/youtube]
and he has more :o
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap12W5gn6Bs[/youtube][youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGS7RAWf1gI[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQE7-oHblLk&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:27 am 
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5000cc Scooter God
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Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:25 pm
Posts: 9851
Location: Altantic Ocean
Scooter Model(s): 64Smallie, PX200&PX150, ItaliJetDragster50, BV500, HarleyXR1200, VespaLxVagina, Mo-PedMotobecane
Best Safe Sex Question yet.....
Alan







What time does your Husband get home?
Hahaha...



Alright... I'll shut up now :(

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Huh? Did I say sumthin wrong? 8)

Usual Suspects Scooter Club
http://www.myspace.com/usualsuspectssc
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:22 pm 
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1000cc Scooter Legend
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Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:40 am
Posts: 1840
Location: UES
Scooter Model(s): 2009 Midnight Blue GTS, 2008 BMW R1200R
Chinese Wedding Night

A young Chinese
couple gets married.. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he
is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding
night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into
bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. 'My
darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time
and you berry flighten. I plomise
you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss
anyting you want. You juss ask.
Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and
worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful
silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her
request.

She eventually
shyly whispers back, 'I want to try someting I have hear
about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'

More thoughtful
silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone
he asks her....

You want.........Garlic Chicken wif snow peas

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 3:28 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
shake it baby but don't break it..
http://www.hulu.com/watch/143264/saturd ... weight-dvd

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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 11:37 am 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
if you liked alec baldwins shweddy balls, you'll love betty whites famous muffin. just close your eyes and listen :D :D :D

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUxRrzVs8vM[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG10o8T-vrc[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 5:24 pm 
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5000cc Scooter God
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Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006 6:04 pm
Posts: 5320
Location: New Hampshire via The East Village
Scooter Model(s): 2006 Yamaha Morphous "The Scoodillac"
In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructions also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings:

Getting a Hairdryer through Customs

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' ‘Of course child; what may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?' 'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

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“The dignity of human beings needs to be defended.” – Stéphane Frédéric Hessel

Peace and take care of yourselves,
José


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 2:46 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and suck on his cock!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:25 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
Q: Did you hear about the Waffle House waitress they found murdered behind the restaurant dumpster?
A: She was scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, and diced.

Q. How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
A. Very satisfying.

Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A: A wet nose.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 8:15 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
[youtube]http://youtu.be/Jum8ZLcqf18[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 6:04 pm 
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4000cc Scooter Titan

Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:12 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: dabronx
Scooter Model(s): 2006 LX190 DRAGON RED SCOOTER
Little Johnny... The Way You Think




Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"

Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."

Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think."

Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"

Teacher: "Sure."

Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"

Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."

Little Johnny: "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 9:51 pm 
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5000cc Scooter God
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Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:25 pm
Posts: 9851
Location: Altantic Ocean
Scooter Model(s): 64Smallie, PX200&PX150, ItaliJetDragster50, BV500, HarleyXR1200, VespaLxVagina, Mo-PedMotobecane
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.


At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the scooter industry and stated,

"If Vespa had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 scooters that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Vespa issued a press release stating:

If Vespa had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be riding Vespa's with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your scooter would crash.........twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new vespa.

3... Occasionally your vespa would shut off on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close seat, shut off the scooter, restart it, and reopen the glove box before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your scooter to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5..... Macintosh would make a scooter that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to ride - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6...... The oil, temperature, and engine warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This scooter Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7....... The throttle system would ask, "Are you sure?" before accelerating.

8........ Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your scooter would steering lock would lock up and refuse to let you turn until you simultaneously lifted the seat, turned the key and grabbed hold of the front brake lever.

9......... Every time a new vespa was introduced scooter buyers would have to learn how to ride all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old vespa.

10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

When all else fails, you could call "customer service" in India and be instructed in in a way you can't understand on how to fix your vespa yourself!!!!

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Huh? Did I say sumthin wrong? 8)

Usual Suspects Scooter Club
http://www.myspace.com/usualsuspectssc
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